No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
