so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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