I heard we made out
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
