Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
