Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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