We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
