xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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