Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
