Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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