508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
