I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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