my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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