You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
my poor anus
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize