So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
