Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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