which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
