Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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