Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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