I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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