He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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