please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
