She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize