You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
