This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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