There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
