My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
