I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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