is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
