Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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