Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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