can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
