I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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