My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize