That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
