Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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