Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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