My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize