You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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