Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
