so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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