At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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