We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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