my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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