if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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