smell my finger.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
