That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
