So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I need to calm my uterus...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
