Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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