i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
