I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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