Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
