I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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