Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize
