That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am available for nakedness
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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