So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He did a backflip because drugs
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