By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
