I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
