UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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