he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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