so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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