Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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