girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
