thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
